I have a confession to make.

Ok. Here's the confession. I've been friends with the guy on the picture above for almost 4 years. We're not really close friends, but we talked. We have shared thoughts, especially in photoshop. Last year of November, we met. And he said that he will be a VIVA artist. I was shocked and didn't believed what he said at first. But yeah, he's a cool guy, he can dance, can sing so there no reason for me to doubt it. So there it goes. Since then, we never stop talking about what would be his future. I'm teasing him about the fans that would shout like, "CALEB! BE MINE! I LOVE YOU" and he will just said, "LOL" haha.
 They were launched last March 28 , 2010 at the Party Pilipinas as XLR8, He's the 3rd member of XLR8. Until now, their group keeps on spreading. Anti's are bashing and fans are supporting. They have 200K fans as of now and still counting.

Back to Caleb, I became closer to him when I was asked to be an admin to his fanpage, then fansclub. I was like his "kanang kamay" It is like every night we talked, we tease each other. and my favorite moment that we had was this. We were chatting,

Him: Help me to apologize to my fans.

Me: sure dude. what can I do? Do I have to pretend as you?

Him: GENIUS DUDE!

Me: I sense that dude. So I am Caleb now. Hello stranger. LOL

Him: IKAW NA!

ME: AKO NA IKAW!

Him: AT IKAW AKO!

ME: Hello Zelle:)

Him: Hello Caleb! :3

ME: WE:)

Him:Yes. 

Me: <3

Him: thanks for eveything. you're so awesome that i don't even know what to do without you.

Me: stop there. I'm falling. like literally.

Him:. LOL

And there, I really fall. FALL IN LOVE. But I know I don't have to. No way. I don't want to fall for him.
That convo was stuck in my mind. Every night, whenever he left me with a message. I was like <33333333
But yea. I stopped fantasizing.  And I can't live with this impossible dream. I'm not his type.

To Caleb: DUDE! Please. Don't give me reasons to fall. I always that you do it on purpose. LOL. thanks tho dude for making me feel special:)

God Bless!

Zelle

A letter to a friend

 Everdearest,
        Hello! I just want to say Hi and 'How are you?'. Even Though I know know you're fine. I am so grateful to have known a friend like you.
       When we first met, I am innocent with everything, knowing few things and still learning. We were childhood friends and I'm so happy that we kept that friendship as strong as it can be.
      I can still remember the day, that I saw you in a different way. The day I felt the feeling of being in love. I was sitting far from you, depressed from some reason, then you came near, fixed my hair and kissed me on my forehead. I wasn't ready to fall especially for you. I didn't know what to do. I don't even know what I am feeling at that very moment. I can't grasp the thought that I might be falling, for you.

As everyday pass, months, years, I still feel the same way I felt when I first fell in love with you. I kept it actually, Only me and God are the ones who knows about it. As day passes, my feelings grow. But my heart is bursting with fear that maybe, just maybe, you might not talk to me anymore if you knew about my feelings.
        But I know you knew it all along, and I thank you for not changing. You are still my bestfriend that I can lean on.
        I love you, And I will always will. But I am always the bestfriend you can lean on and pray with. God Bless!

                                                                                                                    Zelle

Happy na Birthday pa. :)

10 years ago, I received this candle cake from my big brother. I was 9 years old then, and I was so happy when I received this wonderful gift. My kuya said, "Gift ko yan, para every year, sindihan mo yan, may cake ka na" Although I know I can't eat it, I still feel that if I light it up, I can have the most wonderful cake existed. Yet, I didn't really lighten it up. Why? IDK. I just want to preserve it because it was so important. On friday, I will be 19 years of age. Since that stage will be my last year of being a TEEN, I will light up the candle on the picture, at last after 10 years, why? because it means that I've been a successful TEEN AGER of my generation. The light tells that, I have lived the way a good teen ager should live. And lastly, this will be my second time to blow a a candle in a cake, first was when I celebrate my first year, and on the 17th day of Dec. Because of this Candle cake, I never asked my mom to bought me a cake, because what my brother says was stuck in my head. This cake teaches me to recycle and be creative. Not to be extravagant since we are quite less fortunate.

I thank the Lord for giving me another year to live. I will live it well and live it for His name.

God Bless!

Hold on and wait.

Hold on. I already posted maybe 4 months ago that I'm in love with my bestfriend. Yet, I am in love with him for almost 4 years. 2 years ago, I had a boyfriend, my EX-boyfriend was treated like a brother by my bestfriend. I'm actually bad when I broke up with him with the reason that I am still in love with my bestfriend. Then after I broke up with my ex, he had a gilrfriend, they lasted 8 months. During the times that he was so in love with his GF, my heart is bursting with jealousy and anger everytime he tells me their story. I know I don't have the right to get jealous, but i just can't accept that fact that he don't see me like the way he sees his girlfriend. My bestfriend didn't know anything about this feelings of mine, I don't know if it is the right thing to tell him but still, I will be HOLDING ON the reason that, I'M SIMPLY IN LOVE WITH HIM.

Wait. As you can read, 4 years. I've been in love with him for four years, if I waited 4 years, I could wait 4 more years, and more, until he love me. Maybe you will think of me as if I am an obsessed lover, maybe, but I can't just open my heart for anyone. My heart is entirely owned by God, and partly owned by my bestfriend.  The song LOVE IS WAITING by Brooke Fraser really inspires me. It says there, "I'll be waiting for you baby, I'll be holding back the darkest night. Love is waiting till WE'RE READY, TILL IT'S RIGHT. LOVE IS WAITING."

One day, he cried in front of me while telling me how his girlfriend broke up with him. I do not know how to react, would I be happy? sad?. But at the end of our convo, I was mixed up. There was this quotes that he tells me, "I know that God has a reason why He allowed this to happen. I know that God is molding me up, and the girl for me, for us to be as perfect couple of God as we can be." And he tells me a story about a pastor and his bestfriend who got married just by telling each other, "Tara, pakasal tayo best?" But they have one of the best relationship in the earth.

I do not, (partly. XD) assume that I will be the one for my besfriend. But my prayers never stop and I never stop holding on and waiting until the moment where he will tell me that he loves me comes.

"EVERYTHING IS POSSIBLE WITH GOD"

God bless!

I almost forgot!! My first cover:)

My XLR8 Your creativity Winning piece.

Ok. just to sum up what is the purpose of this essay, I actually joined a contest of viva.com.ph, I wrote this article which is about ME and Carlo Lazerna.  So here it goes.

Ok Here it goes.  I picked JOHN CARLO BONIFACIO LAZERNA.

why??????

Please take time to read. I'm gonna tell a quite short story. LOL

My communication with Carlo Lazerna started last January 25, 2010. I added him as my friend on facebook. After a minute, he accepted my request. To thank him for that fast acceptance, I PMed him (sent him a personal message) and says, "Hello kuya, Thanks po sa pagaccept!:)" and He replied, "Thanks sa pagadd ate Zelle." Our conversation continue as we noticed that it's almost 2AM in the morning. So I started to END the conversation already and I say, PRAY.PRAY.PRAY. He replied."Yea PRAY! Thanks for reminding me:) Good night:D"--It seems that it was a very simple "not kilig" moments lol. I have moooorrreee!

Our conversation never stop, we shared each other's YM, twitter. even digits.:) He used to make banat with me. And that seems to be the CORNIEST words I've heard. Yet that makes me feel so much kilig.:D:D:D:D. Until one day, we make a deal that if I go to their Malltour at SM BICUTAN, he will make hatak me at the stage and make sayaw factor (loooool. idek how to dance their YSH dance craze.)

YAY! we met! April 17, 2010. I was sitting alone, texting then I was shocked that someone poked me. And it's HIM!!!! He held my hands, I mean shake me hands, and you can see through our eyes that we are both excited to meet each other. 

This photo explains everything.

OH wait. If this promo have a limit of words to be posted, MAY I EXCEED WITH THE NUMBER OF WORDS? I think I love to tell more story.

OK!OK!

May 22, 2010. Their MT at SM southmall. He said he missed me. :))

--lastly. this one. MT @ SM Center LAspinas. 

 Gaaaa! A super Haggardness DAY:)))

Oh well. I really enjoyed the MT at SM CENTER. Though I only stayed at the backstage, which is boring, I enjoyed it for a bit.

Here's a story. When The Malltour was done, XLR8 went to their dressing room [don't look like one. lol]Oh MEN! The guard pushed me away. GAAAA! Then we beg them to let us in co'z we're with CALEB and if we don't stick with him or with Tita Juliet, we'll walk from SM to home. :((Then CARLO saw me, he said, "What are you doing out there, come here!"Me: GAA! I can't. lol. This ****** guard is pushing me away and blocking me:(("Then what Carlo did was, he , OMG! grabbed my little hands and say, "Don't let go!" Then I said, "OKAY! I won't. Just hold me tight"And FINALLY! I'm inside the dressing room. Then Carlo noticed that there's a girl behind him and hugged him!:| The guard saw the scene so the guard let the girl out and say, "Hey, There are fans inside, go out!" ????I was a bit nervous that he will let me out, since I'm not with Tita Juliet that time, But, what I really love is when Carlo says, "Don't be afraid for you're not a fan."...so what am I??? haha

AJ, Arkin, Aki saw me like they were so excited, AJ shouted, "KATOL! nakarating ka!" (KATOL! You came!) -btw. He call me INDAY KATOL, and I call him MANONG KATOL-And we had a little conversation, then Carlo saw my phone and suggested to take pictures. I took his photos with my cousin. But :((( it's time for us to go, So I said, "Okay, Come on! It's ok if we don't have pic together, but Carlo replied, "NO! It's not okay with me, WAIT! Just give us a minute."Then he grabbed my phone, but I am not too confident that he'll be the one to take our photo. So I ask, "Are you sure you'll take our photo, "No I'm not sure. lol" Carlo replied" So I gave it to my cousin. And she took our photo and here it is. lol. haggardness.

"hindi pwedeng wala tayong picture!"

It's a rush photo, that's why it's like that:)

AND OMG!!!! I went out of the dressing room, walking along with the XLR8, with Kuya MM to be exact and we went to the PARKING lot. Knowing that it's goodbyes, I said my goodbyes to all of them. Then I shouted at Carlo and said, "Bye! thanks for eveything:) I will see you again" 

OK! I think those stories explain why I like CARLO LAZERNA. I know that you might think that I am a bit ASSUMING. But no, That is just how I enjoy my friendship with Carlo though I over-react sometimes. LOL 

and personally, I like Carlo Lazerna among the other XLR8 member because I saw how he grows from an ordinary guy to extraordinary, YET, he never change a bit attitude. HE STAYS THE SAME:) And He seems to be one of the most sweetest man I've known. And He has a big heart that could extends to those that hate him. He is the person that would support you if you hate him:) And he doesn't even care. LOL

 Thanks for your time of reading my epic story:)

Hope you enjoy:))) God Bless!

-Zelle Rana of AF.M

 lastly. An article I made for him. :))) http://cutenessity.blogspot.com/2010/03/carlo-lazerna.html

SUPER MAJOR MAJOR MUCH LOVE<3333333333333333333333 

A POT OF GOLD. (Para kay kras. haha)

I am a lady that is not fond of wearing gold or any metallic elements that exist. Except for silver. But when I was a child, WANSAPANATAYM taught me that RAINBOWS have a pot of gold on its end. I believed and  I got obsessed of finding that rainbow, thinking that I will be the first child to find it. But as I grew up, I realized that it never existed, I mean the pot of gold on its end.

Since then, I hated golds. Whenever my Aunt bring home her shining accessories, I always leave out gold accessories. But whenever I see RAINBOWS, I'm still hoping to reached and find the pot of gold on its end.

Years had passed. I am a lady now. They say that, instead of wearing silver accessories, wear gold. But I was like...*AUGH?*

But one day, I was surfing on the internet. I saw someone who liked 1:43 Fan Page, the I clicked it. then....AAH! ....! "HOT" is the right word to describe them ALL! Suddenly, I saw a member of them named GOLD. As interested as I am, I clicked the photo where he was tagged in. then I ask myself, "WHY GOLD?" 

But not like the golds that I once hated, This GOLD really shines brightly! It flashes to my eyes!

His eyes! Oh his eyes! It owned the sweetest look that it would kill me.

His smile! yes! His smile! I stopped, and if I could look at it forever, I WILL.

Ang his face! I never knew that I could forget hating the golds of the world.

When I saw Goldmon Aqquino, it's like I found the pot of gold that I've been searching my whole life!

And when I found my way to talk to him, he make my blurred eyes vision crystal clear.

And it added colors like rainbow to my life

And when I knew that I won a date with him,

All the colors that exist enters my life.

And when he did that video greet, I could write a million on how the way he says my name.

Ok. I might be overreacting. But this is how I express my self. LOL

All I want now is to see him face to face, know him better and be his friend.

I don't know when or where am I going to meet him, but I will be patiently waiting for that time to come and I will cherish every moment that we will have. :)

Thanks Gold for entering my life and for being an inspiration.

God Bless! <3

Thanks 1:43 and To Sir Chris Cahilig. TO T4L too. <3

I love you all!

-Zelle-

Hello blog world!

And yea. I'm back. (Who cares?) LOL. I miss doing this. FULL TIME BLOGGER. and if you have time, check out my TUMBLOG. 
that's all for now, God Bless!

When God Speaks in Darkness

What do we usually feel if we are in the dark? WE are scared? YES. We are not comfortable? YES. We feel like someone is looking at us? YES. I actually answered that question personally. My greatest fear is DARKNESS. I just don't want to be in darkness. and YES. I pray whenever I am in the dark, but I AM STILL AFRAID.

I personally love lights and sounds that is running coz of electricity. I got BV when electricity is out. I thought that there is no life when there is no light. BUT I'M WRONG.

It's been a month of preparation, month of long thinking of how are we going to organize the YDC fellowship that was held last Sunday, 09.26.10. Since I am appointed to be lead and organize the Music team, I did my best to make it perfect, to make it well sounded. I've been so sensitive with faults and the teams childish ways. I got mad/bitter easily.

A day before the said event, I am not comfortable with the line-up of songs. It was suppose to be like this.

-Heart of Worship

-Adonai

-One Way

-Hosanna

-With all I am

-How Great is our God

-Magnificent

Then I just changed the plans of not including the underlined songs and change it to only one song, STILL.

My line-up was, I put still on the last song. but.....

Line-up of songs goes like this.

Adonai

Oneway

Heart of Worship

STILL

With all I am

When we are in the midst of the Worship Service, THE ELECTRICITY's OUT! I am shocked and I don't know what to do. But still, the worship leader continued in singing. Upon listening and waiting for the leader's signal if we are gonna stop or not, I realized MANY things.

HEART OF WORSHIP

I did all my best to make the worship service perfect. BUT:( I didn't prepare the team for LIVE,PURE, and TRUE WORSHIP. I cared about the instruments, the music, the tunes, the rhythm, the songs. BUT THE MESSAGE THAT WE HAVE TO TELL THROUGH WORSHIP was not in our/my heart. When we worship, it's not our mind to set but our heart. It's not about the perfectness of the PERFORMANCE, yet it is the perfectness of your heart for worship.All of us tend to think that when we join the worship service, it means we WORSHIP. We close our eyes, but, We are not really doing the TRUE worship.

And I think that's why God tested our heart when the time that the electricity's out.

STILL

The whole song of still. We sang it with no instruments. It's Hot and dark. We are confused and shocked. But STILL, we continue.

-LESSON-

I am afraid of darkness, I PRAY, yet I AM STILL NERVOUS. What God tells me while we are singing STILL was, "Don't doubt in darkness when God is giving you the light"

One more thing, LIGHT's and POWER was out. It a challenge that God was telling us. "BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD"

Looking back, I said on the first paragraph that it annoys me when the lights and power is out. But the moment we sing STILL, I cried. that's when I realize that, me, and ALL THE PEOPLE INSIDE THE SANCTUARY ARE STILL AND CONTINUED TO PRAISE, TRULY, LIVELY, and PURE.

WITH ALL I AM

The best! LIGHT'S are back. and that's when we all clap with gladness that we overcome the darkness and be STILL for GOD.

With all we are, With all I am, My heart will always BE STILL and know that you are GOD.

God is truly working on everyone's life. It's been exactly a year ago after that ONDOY Typhoon. And the amazing fact was, STILL was an anthem when ONDOY strikes our country.

I know that God is smiling so much that He has seen His children worship Him with the Heart of Worship, With all they are. And because, even the oceanic PROBLEMS rise, and the thunders that roars and keeps on destroying us, floods of trials came, GOD will always be the KING above all. AND WE WILL SOAR WITH HIM, UPON THE STORMS in our life.

From now on, DARKNESS WILL NEVER EXIST. Co'z I know that there's GOD who will give me HIS light. Co'z I know that GOD SPEAKS IN DARKNESS.

Be Blessed and Be a Blessing.

God Bless!

(c)Zelle Rana

http://cutenessity.blogspot.com/

http://true-lovewaits.tumblr.com/

Carlo Lazerna

Being a fan is ok. but being a fanfriend is far more better. Before, I am already supporting artist like Sam Concepcion, but I never talked to him personally. I've seen him in person but I never get near to him.

This time,I had a friend who will be an artist, Caleb Santos. Even before he become a part of VIVA RECORDS, me and my cousins admire him because of his charmis face and sweet voice. Now, a news came that he'll be a part of a MALE GROUP. I know about it like a year ago because my cousin is updating me about Caleb. I didn't know yet about that male group so i keep on searching until Caleb tagged me to a photo greeting me MERRY CHRISTMAS. In that photo was the said male group. Who really captures my eyes was Meljohn Magno. I don't know why. I am so happy that I can talk to him through Facebook.

I also added the other members of XLR8. I sent a message to one of them,Carlo Lazerna. Luckily, He urgently replied to me, there, we talked privately. I just loved it when we talked. It's like I already know him. One day, I discovered a chatbox. I went there but sadly, no one's there except for another fan. I stayed the for 1 hour talking to that another fan. Then Kiko Ramos showed up, then Caleb, and another was Carlo Lazerna. I didn't noticed how it started when we started talking to each other. We even had our name, CARLZELLE! LOL! I added him up at YM and I was shocked when he called me. My knees are really shaking at that moment. I even satyed up until 2:00 AM just to continue talking to him. Now, he stands out for me among the other members of XLR8. For he is...*augh* I really can't help it but visit his page, leave some message on his YM before logging out, I even mention him on my status, created a fanpage for him, recorded a song for him, and this, I wrote an article with his name as title.

I will never ever forget the closeness we had. All I want now is to see him in person and have a picture with him and be more closer to him. Carlo Lazerna deserve to be supported.

Carlo Lazerna, I hope you won't forget me, just like I always tell you. Zelle is here! Your No. 1 FANFRIEND!
Much LOVE! <3>

TRUST

haiz...saya talaga maglingkod sa Lord. Trust in Him and He will not let you be in harm.

Story:(Not a true story, i just read it from my cp, but it is meaningful)

May isang girl na hatinggabi na umuwi ng solo dahil sa ginawa nilang project. Para maging mabilis ang pauwi niya, dumaan siya sa shortcut na daan. Sa kanto ng kalsada ay may dalawang lalaki na tila nagaabang sa kanya. Natakot siya na baka may mangyari sa kanyang masama. Pero hindi nanguna ang takot sa kanya. nagdasal siya at sinabi niyang, "Panginoon, ipinagkakatiwala ko po sa inyo ang sarili ko. Nawa po gabayan Niyo po ako at huwag Niyo po hahayaan na may mangyari sa aking masama." Sa moment na iyon, ipinagkatiwala niya sa Panginoon ang buhay niya. Lumakad siya ng normal at ng walang takot. Lumampas siya sa mga lalaki at nagpasalamat na walang nangyari sa kanya.Kinabukasan paggising niya, sinabi sa kanya ng kanyang ina na mayroong namatay at narape sa may kanto malapit sa kanila, narape daw ang babae ng magaalauna na ng umaga,nagkataong doon din siya dumaan noong gabing iyon. Dahil kilala pa niya ang mga mukha ng mga lalaking nakita niya noon, pumunta siya sa presinto upang makatulong. At hindi siya nagkamali sa hinala niya na iyon nga ang mga lalaki na pumatay at nangrape sa biktima. Dahil sa pagtataka ng pulis kung bakit kilala ng babae ang mga lalaki, tinanong siya ng pulis, "Dumaan ka din ba doon?", sagot naman siya, "opo, 12 na po ng hating gabi iyon" Sunod naman na tinanong ng pulis ang mga lalaki, "Nauna bang dumaan ang babaeng ito sa babaeng nirape nio?", sagaot naman ng mga lalaki, "Opo". Nagtanong muli ang pulis, "Mahirap man itanong ito, Bakit hindi siya ang pinagtangkaan ninyo gayong siya pala ang naunang dumaan.?" sagot naman na isang lalaki, "Dahil po mayroong siyang kasamang dalawang matangkad na lalaki sa tabi niya."

Lesson:
Sa kahit anong oras, huwag natin aalisin ang tiwala natin sa Panginoon dahil Siya lamang ang makakapagligtas sa atin sa oras ng kapahamakan. Magtiwala tayo sa Kanya ng buong puso at hindi Niya hahayaan na tayo'y mapahamak. Nawa nainspire kayo. Dahil nainspire ako noong mabasa ko ito noon.

Title: TRUST

I'm lucky I'm in love with my bestfriend!

This is the song that made me realize that I could be falling in love with my best friend. We've been friends for almost 10 years. But as we are growing, physically, emotionally, and spiritually, we used to talk about serious things in life. Love life, future partner, God's Will and everything.

Before, we are always fighting like kids. I'm always shouting at him when we are at high school level because we are seat mates that time and I'm always distracted by him. He make me cry when we are 2nd yr. high school. Comports me and cared even more when we are 3rd year. And that year, I got my first kiss on my cheeks. ;D. We are playing kiss relay during recess, the first one to kiss me is him. I still consider it as a first kiss for he is the first guy to kiss me on my cheeks.

4th Year High School, we became more mature and committed to our studies. We both became busy because we are both aiming for a medal and a high grades. One night, my mom was brought to the hospital. Since then, I became irresponsible for my studies and I got bored in studying, I was eliminated out of the special class, who's taking special subjects, and my exams are far too low from my past exams. But I'm so thankful that one man, my bestfriend, cheer me up and unexpectedly, kissed me on my forehead. That moment, I do not know how would I react with what he do. I just smiled and say, "Thank You!" and I was awarded with a medal during our graduation.

From that day on, I have seen him not just a simple friend, but a super special friend, far beyond a best friend. I am afraid to fall in love with him because I am afraid that we'd be strangers if I'll tell him what I feel about him. I try not to fall in love with him, but as we grow old, we became more closer, and others used to asked if we are in a relationship.

Yes, he is in a relationship, but not with me. I felt a little hurt when I knew that. Though it hurts, I let him tell to me about his girlfriend. And we became more closer because of that, he treated me as his little sister.

Now, we are still BEST FRIENDS, he knew my feelings about him but the good thing about him is, even he knew it, he said, "I will never ever walk away from you for you are my best friends, I don't want to waste our strong foundation of friendship just because of that, I'll let you love me, but let me love you too as my sister and friend."

Now, I'm happier than ever when he said that, Why? at least he never changed and he still loves me as his sister and friend, a relationship that never ends.

Friendship vs. Love. I'd rather choose friendship because it is God's will to be done when it comes to love.

God Bless!

by: zelle

WORK-AHOLIC????

haix....maybe i just got addicted to my work and my studies so I didn't visit my blog for months. I missed everything in the blogosphere. I miss me co-bloggers. I miss sharing my thoughts, opinions, sayings, poems, stories to the world. Waaaa...

Now I'll do my very best to retrieve what I've lost. I'll patiently read your new post.
Well, That's all for now, I'm a bit busy at work and I'm just stealing some time for this post. I miss you All!!! God Bless!
Hope you miss me too. ;(

by: zelle